Admission of Guilt
by hollance
Summary: I always wondered why Severus went to Dumbledore with his admission of guilt and request to save Lily. There were plenty of other ways and people he could have given the information to without committing himself to a miserable life trying desperately to receive redemption and forgiveness from people he didn't like. Here's my take on what could have happened.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own anything- surprisingly enough I'm not J.K.

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Severus felt the blood slowly drain from his face; his vision went hazy, fading in and out of darkness. He felt himself sway but managed to jolt himself into maintaining an upright posture, more or less. He hoped his reaction had gone unnoticed by His Lord, but doubted it. By clenching his hands into a fist and cutting his palm with his blunt nails he was able to stay conscious. He had found as a young child, and later had it confirmed as an adolescent, that focusing on pain helped him stay anchored.

A litany of thoughts echoed in his head. She was pregnant; she was pregnant with James Potter's child, but worst of all it would be born at the end of July...

"My Lord..."

The words were out of his mouth before his brain had caught up. He had been too busy trying not to pass out at the news that _He_ was going to kill them...kill her...and Severus would responsible. Admittedly indirectly, but still ultimately responsible.

From the look of His Lord his interruption meant he was either going to be tortured and live, or be tortured and die... time to choose his next set of words carefully. He may the potions prodigy but he was expendable, they all were to a greater or lesser degree. Severus, well, he may be good with potions but he was new to the Circle, a half-blood and poor... not things to endear him to his new...master. He turned the word over in his mind. It didn't feel any nicer than saying it out loud. In fact he felt distinctly unnerved by His Lord's preferred title of address.

"The child should be disposed of, as should any threat to my Lord. Hence why I brought my Lord the information that has led to this discovery." Severus hoped that if he sounded sycophantic enough his plea would be listened to. "In light of this... I appeal for the mother's life to be spared, she is a mere... mudblood." He forced the word out, "... and no threat to one as powerful as my Lord." Severus carried on, carefully avoiding _His_ eyes. He hoped that he had been convincing enough. He was on shaky ground already, he didn't want to have to go into a long and elaborate explanation on why Lily shouldn't die. Particularly when he had no convincing argument- not for these people anyway.

The quiet smirks of his peers indicate that his careful neglect of _her_ name had not gone unnoticed. Apparently his continued love and ardor for Lily, despite her very public rejection of him, had not been as carefully hidden as he had believed. Shame and embarrassment curdled in his stomach.

"Ah, yes. I had forgotten you still _loved_ her Severus." The mocking evident in _his_ voice. "My followers, see how generous your Lord and Master is. You request shall be granted Severus... on the condition that she stand aside when the time comes. But you, my servant... spoke out of turn."

Severus felt terror make his stomach feel hollow and bottomless as his eyes followed the wand being raised towards him. He muttered a prayer to any deity that might be listening to spare him. It was his last coherent thought before the pain set in.

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One of the more fortunate side effects of being friendless, Severus found upon waking, was abandonment. No-one to witness his whimpers as he stretched. No one to mock his initial unsuccessful attempts at standing, or even crawling.

His clothes, already ragged and ill fitting, were now stained with urine, blood and detritus from the filthy surroundings that had attached to him as he fell and writhed.

As he lent against the stone wall he looked at his boots, choking back the sobs that threatened to escape. He swallowed hard, trying to control the emotions threatening to escape. His thoughts were more chaotic, and after a brief attempt to suppress his growing despair and panic he allowed them free reign to battle for supremacy in his head.

He bit his lip to prevent any more whimpers from escaping as he hauled himself upright. His shoulders turned inwards as he doggedly walked to the apparition barrier, too exhausted to cast cleaning spells on his person. With any luck his father would still be at the pub, or too drunk to notice the state his son was in. The thought caused Severus to grimace and sneer.

"What the fuck boy... What you been doin'?" Tobias ended the sentence abruptly, his eyes narrowing at the retreating, impassive figure of his son. It had evidently been too much for Severus to hope for that his arrival would be unnoticed.

"Oy, don't you walk away from me boy" Tobias shouted as he lunged forward, grasping the back of Severus' robe in a fist and halting his steady trudge up the stairs.

Severus twisted and struggled to maintain his hold on the banister but his grip suddenly gave. They both landed in a heap on the floor. One with loud cursing, the other with quiet cries of pain, as the impact jarred his new wounds.

"Fuck off ya bastard..." Severus, meaning to sound defiant, winced internally as he ended the sentence with a sob. He curled his arms around his head and pulled his knees towards his chest, bracing himself for the inevitable blows after such disrespect.

He fought back a moan, as he felt an iron grip tighten around his bicep. He should know better than to think he would be allowed just one night without being beaten or belittled. Just to be ignored would be a great improvement. To his surprise he wasn't dragged upright to be immediately knocked down.

"What the fuck you been rolling in." Tobias challenged as he forcibly stripped Severus of his filthy cloak and robe, ignoring Severus' feeble attempts to push him away, revealing his grey, threadbare shirt and patched corduroy trousers held up by a broad man's belt which had been re-holed to accommodate a teenager's waist.

"What do you care!"

Severus decided, very quietly in his own mind, that living through the vexation of a self proclaimed Dark Lord after stupidly running his mouth off, must have made him positively giddy for this sudden bout of audacity to occur.

"I've seen you bloodied Severus, I've seen you crying...I've never seen ya with pissed trousers before... You on drugs?" Tobias roughly pushed Severus' sleeves up his elbows, not even needing to undo the cuffs. "I'll not have you doing drugs under my roof, ya hear? If ya are, then you're out boy."

Not finding any needle marks, just that disturbing tattoo that Severus had tried to hide for a few months. Tobias roughly pushed away the weakening, struggling hands of his son to grasp his head and tilt it towards the light.

"Jesus..." Tobias stared at Severus' eyes. The whites were red with blood where the veins had burst, making him look deranged and slightly mad as they darted about looking for an escape. Tobias took in the other details that he had missed, but subconsciously clocked onto... the suspicious straight slash marks covering his body staining his clothes red, the constant shaking and tremors, the sheen of sweat on his forehead. Tobias noted the clammy, feverish skin and he stared as a steady trickle of blood made its way from Severus' nose to his chin.

"What you taken boy? Eh? What did you do?" Shaking him to elicit an answer. "Tell me!" Tobias ended in a shout.

"Nothing... Jesus... I'm not on drugs... if I was I would brew something that didn't do this to me!" Severus finally bellowed. He couldn't fathom quite what made him add the last part but it seemed to make Tobias stop shaking him, which could only be an improvement.

"You would as well, wouldn't you!" He sneered.

"Yes I would!" Severus replied indignantly, hoping he could escape soon to his room. He could feel his legs buckling.

"Well what the fuck happened then?" Tobias replied grasping Severus by the shoulders, pushing him towards the den.

"I...I..." To Severus' eternal shame tears started to roll down his face. A quick glance at his father's face showed that Tobias was as unnerved and skittish by this development as Severus felt. Severus followed Tobias' rough pushing until he sat with an undignified thump onto the sofa.

"I'll get piss on the sofa". Severus objected, futilely trying to push himself up.

"Never mind the sodding sofa. What. Happened?" Each word was accompanied by a little shake.

"He'sgonnakillher...and it's my fault he's gonna kill her" The first part came out in a rush. The words he felt he could never have dared say out loud. The second statement came out as a more plaintive wail.

A look up at Tobias' face showed that he was returning to the drugged and deranged theory. Severus plundered on hoping that if he said enough Tobias would at least leave him alone in disgust as oppose to beating him senseless.

"I... that girl Lily... she...she" He stuttered "I went for a job interview last week. I heard a prophecy... part of one anyway. I told... I told the Dark Lord... " Severus bit back a choke as Tobias snorted at the words Dark Lord. Severus ignored the subsequent muttering about ridiculous poncy wizards.

"But the prophecy means Lily's child, which means he will kill her, he'll kill them all!" Severus hung his head. He had told the Dark Lord the prophecy in an effort to salvage something from the disastrous situation. His Lord had not been pleased that Severus had been caught eavesdropping and had been subsequently been thrown out the pub, but was appeased by what Severus had overheard. "I didn't know... I never thought... no one takes divination seriously!"

"Christ...bloody hell Severus! What did you think would happen, that he'd give 'em cake!" He expected the thump on his shoulder that accompanied the next sentence. "What ya gonna do then, eh? Eh? Sitting here moping about ain't doin' any good."

"What can I do!" Severus finally looked up into his father's eyes. "She thinks I'm a Deatheater... I _am_ a Deatheater...her husband's an Auror, and he hated me at school. I'll be arrested before I utter a word!"

"Tell her for a start you fucking twat. I never thought you were such a spineless piece of shit! No wonder she went off with another bloke."

"You take that back." Severus' face took on a defiant quality that hadn't been there before.

"It's the truth! You're on the verge of getting her whole family killed and you just sit here crying, feeling sorry for yourself! What sort of a bloody stupid name is Deatheater anyway. You all sound like a load of melodramatic tossers."

"They might have a stupid name to you, but in the Wizarding world it instills fear! What they did to me today isn't a fraction of what they _can_ do… what they will do." He trailed of uncertainly as he thought about what he was saying.

"Then you better tell her before they do it to her then, hadn't you!"

"Yes! I had!" He replied without quite realizing what he said.

"Well you'd better get washed and changed then. You won't get through the door if you're wearing pissy trousers." Tobias stood back, crossing his arms as he stared levelly at the shaking figure before him. "I'll get you a sandwich as well…it's no good if you collapse before you've even got there" he added as an afterthought.

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Severus peered through the leaves of the oak tree he had seconded himself in outside Godric's Hollow and braced his nerves as he clambered down the tree and walked past the gate, to the front door, where he knocked.

He had been hoping that Lily would be alone at home, but a peek through the window after a hastily applied concealment spell had shown that all the Marauder's were present. Whilst he wanted to warn Lily, he wasn't suicidal and knew that any conversation where all four marauders were present would make for a short and deadly exchange. As a result he had waited until they had left. The green flames died down in the fireplace signifying the exit of Black, the last to leave.

The impromptu wait in the tree had made Severus give some thought to how he would approach this. He knew he would be hexed in short order, undoubtedly by both Lily and Potter, unless he surrendered his wand. Even if he surrendered it he had considered the very real possibility that they would just hex him and call the Aurors, but he had to try and save her. He'd do anything to stop the guilt he felt eating away at him as he stood, well, perched. He couldn't imagine living with it constantly.

As a result, Potter found his arch enemy on his doorstep, on his knees, head bowed submissively, holding his wand by the tip, with the handle pointing towards James waiting for him to take it.

"Err... Lily... You might want to come out here... like, now!"

"What is it James...oh"

Severus still hadn't lifted his gaze from the doormat and as a result could only guess the expressions and actions that his arrival had prompted. He felt his wand being tugged from his hand and let it go with only minor resistance. His arm fell loosely against his side.

"What do you want Snape?" James muttered, having snatched Severus' wand away. Severus could only imagine that Lily's presence had stayed his hand from cursing him as soon as he saw him. It had certainly been the case throughout school.

Severus coughed and licked his lips before glancing up and squaring his shoulders, as if that act would give him the courage and fortitude to admit he had doomed this family. Still kneeling, Severus blurted out what he had to say before he was hexed into silence, or killed on the spot. You never could tell with Potter, and he could feel his limited patience running thin.

"There is a prophecy regarding your child. _He_ knows about it. _He_... he will kill you unless you run." Severus hoped that the emphasis on the _He _would be understood. "I... I do not wish what he would do to you on anyone...especially you Lily. Please run, hide, leave England, and better yet leave the UK." He hoped that pleading would be enough. He had only done it once before, two and a half years ago outside Gryffindor common room and that had been unsuccessful.

"Why should we believe you Snape?" The suspicion in James' voice was evident. "It's a trap" he said, turning to Lily.

"You think I would come here and risk a traitor's death for a laugh? My life might not mean much to you but it does to me! Besides, how could warning you of danger be a trap?"

"You filthy Deatheater. I knew it!"

"Listen, you fucking twat, call whoever you want, lock me up, I don't care, just keep Lily safe, and keep your child safe! The danger is very real. Your location is widely known, you must go…now preferably." Severus angry eyes bore into James who was stuck speechless by their intensity. His crowing froze on his lips as the words sunk in, and the real threat, on his doorstep, stopped his bravado.

"Lily, call Dumbledore" James said, his movements suddenly becoming hurried as he moved from his vulnerable position in the middle of the doorway.

"What? No. Why?" Severus asked confusion evident on his face. He had expected James to call the other marauders, or the Aurors, not their old headmaster.

"Never mind you." James replied before pointing his wand at Severus.

Severus tried to control his heartbeat as he felt binds tighten around his body, drawing his arms close to his chest, constricting his breathing. He tried to ignore the rising fear as he was silenced and petrified. His eyes stared unblinkingly as fingertips came towards his eyes and drew his eyelids down, submerging him in darkness. He gave into the panic he felt being this vulnerable as his hearing grew muffled and then ceased altogether.

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The next moment Severus came to he was in a completely different room, or it felt like a completely different room. With magic it was possible that his surroundings and environment had been altered to the extent he did not recognize it, whilst still being in exactly the same place.

He was sat, bound by rope to a chair with his shirt sleeves rolled above the elbow, exposing the Dark Mark. In front of him sat Albus Dumbledore.

"Ah good, your awake." Dumbledore gently crossed his arms and leant back in the armchair. His gaze coldly assessed the young man in front of him.

Severus stared as that was all that seemed forthcoming. He pressed his lips together in a tight line. It tended to have a habit of running on its own in these types of situations and it had only ever gotten him into worse trouble, particularly when faced with the Headmaster.

The silence in the room was starting to get oppressive when Dumbledore next spoke. "You know Severus… I can wait all day, and night… it is fortunate that it is the school holidays. You have my undivided attention".

"Oh goody", It came out as a quiet whisper, but he saw Dumbledore's eyes narrow at the response.

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way Severus…" Dumbledore intoned. "You're a Deatheater. You've wanted to be a Deatheater for a very long time, unless I'm mistaken. Now, why would you suddenly come here? What does Voldemort want Severus?"

"It's not…. I didn't… _He_ didn't send me." Severus replied, tensing against the rope. He bit back a huff. The ropes were very, very secure. He wouldn't be able to undo them with wandless magic. Even if he had a wand he might struggle. He certainly couldn't undo them fast enough to escape from the Headmaster.

"Forgive me if I don't believe you. It seems we will have to do this the hard way" Dumbledore replied after a quick nod and a look at something behind Severus.

Severus tried to twist to look at what, or who, Dumbledore had gestured to but the ropes were too tight. He bucked and struggled as he felt a hand close round his nose, pulling his head back and another hand prize his mouth open. He sputtered and spat as liquid was poured down his throat. Severus' eyes widened as he felt the veritaserum take effect.

"That's illegal… you've given me too much." His voice broke as he panicked. He felt his body go numb as the drug took effect. Felt his head become thick and heavy, slowing his thoughts. There was a reason only three drops were used. For a start the potion was expensive and hard to make, no need to waste more than necessary. Not only that but the side effects of overdosing could be anything ranging from a slightly slow heartbeat to seizures, which sometimes had the unfortunate effect of killing the victim. Severus shook his head as he tried to think through the white mist in his mind and metaphorically crossed his fingers that he had spat out enough.

"Yes it is" Dumbledore replied apparently unconcerned, "a bit too enthusiastic there, we want him talkative, not dead." he added looking over Severus' head. "Now then, are you here on Voldemorts' orders?"

"No."

"Does Lord Voldemort plan to kill the Potters?"

"Yes…" Severus bit his tongue to stop himself from speaking, but unsuccessfully. His next sentence was forced out despite the blood he felt filling his mouth. "He knows, he knows about the prophecy… he plans to kill the child, kill the family…The Longbottoms' are in danger too." He added as an afterthought.

"When? When does he plan to attack?"

"I don't know. I came to warn them… I don't want them to die… not because of me. They need to leave, they need to hide."

"You took the prophecy to Lord Voldemort." It was a statement not a question but Severus answered it anyway. Compelled by the Veritaserum.

"Yes, but I didn't think he would take it seriously… I didn't know… I swear I didn't know….please stop" Severus choked back a sob as a tear ran down his face. As his inhibitions were lowered by the drug he felt himself loose what little composure he had at the beginning of the interrogation.

Dumbledore looked on impassively at the crying nineteen year old in front of him. "I wonder what effect this will have on your life debt to James. An interesting theoretical quandary don't you think Severus."

"I imagine it will remain the same as it was… I have tried to remedy the damage I inflicted by repeating the prophecy, by warning them… by pleading with them to leave the country, and asking Lord Voldemort to spare her…" He panted. "I can do no more on that account. I put them in jeopardy unknowingly… I do not owe anyone on that score, bar my conscience. If I die with the life debt unfulfilled it will rebound on my kin. If Potter dies and I have not saved him when I have been in a position to do so, I will die as well. That is how it works is it not? "

"Yes… found that book in the library did you? But I think you _can_ help Severus… That you _are_ in a position to repay the life debt, to save them _all_, not just Lily." He added in a disgusted voice.

"I don't understand…. I can't… _He_ will kill me if he knows I have come here… That I have warned them. I can't do anymore. It would be suicide." His voice slowed and he stuttered the last words out.

Severus' head dropped on his chest as he heard Dumbledore's voice echo from what seemed to be a great distance "You used too much…" His eyes stared into Dumbledore's as his head was forced upwards by his chin for the second time in the same day.

"You have 24 hours to give me an answer Severus…."

"Answer… to… what?" His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth and slurred as he tried to speak.

"To whether you will help save the Potters… whether will you spy on Lord Voldemort, for me?" The voice returned, more distant than the last sentence. "Leave him on the doorstep of his home, Spinner's End."

Severus felt the bonds vanish and his body become weightless as he floated out the chair into a strangers hard grasp. His eyes shut despite the effort to keep them open, to look at who held him… who would now know where he lived.

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Severus' nose twitched as the antiseptic smell invaded his nostrils. He smothered his impulse to move, to open his eyes, and instead strained to interpret theunfamiliar sounds he could hear.

After wondering what the strange beeping was and being none the wiser he decided to open his eyes. He was obviously pants at guessing and was getting worried that someone would realize he was awake and catch him unawares because he was preoccupied with an obviously fruitless task.

It took five attempts for him to open his eyes successfully and a good few minutes to become accustomed to the bright light. He couldn't help but stare in confusion at the man sitting in the chair next to his bed.

"Needn't look like so confused you git. What do you expect when you appear with a pop at the front door looking like death warmed up." Tobias murmured in an undertone. Severus followed the pointed head jerk that accompanied the statement and took note of the Auror in the red uniform standing in the corner of the room.

"I…" Severus felt his eyes shut on their own accord "I'm too tired … what happened? Where am I?"

"Go back to sleep, I'll explain when your more awake." Severus' brows knitted as he felt the covers being drawn up to his chest and tucked firmly around him. "I'm going to tell the nurses you're awake at bloody last".


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Alas I'm not JK

I would also like to thank excessivelyperky for Beta-ing the story and for offering wonderful advice :-)

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Severus could hardly believe the story his father was telling him as he ate the thin soup that was meant to be his lunch. Despite the bowl being only half full, Severus struggled to finish it. Not overly surprising after he had been unconscious and on a drip for three weeks.

Apparently when his father opened the door and found his son slumped against the door frame, unresponsive and comatose, he had called the ambulance. Severus was slightly surprised that he hadn't just been dragged into the house to die an ignominious death. Not through deliberate intent, more due to accidental inaction and ignorance. Apparently he had started to seize on his way to the hospital and had been stabilised in intensive care. Severus was slightly surprised he was alive. Usually ingesting enough Veriteserum to do that meant goodbye world.

Tobias had returned home later that day, thinking that was the end of that, and had expected an uneventful time waiting for Severus to recover. Instead he had woken up to a dozen Aurors invading his home in the middle of the day. Tobias had duly told them his son was in hospital unconscious and he wouldn't take any of them there since two different political factions had decided to use him as a punching bag, so would they go away please. Severus imagined at this point that his father had been much less polite and noticeably inebriated for him to give so much away.

Tobias raised his voice "Bloody stupid to send twelve people to arrest a wimp like you anyway, as if you'd be a danger to anything. Anyway after I told 'em that they disappeared back to wherever the fuck they came from and I was left in peace for a bit."

"Well go on, what happened then?" Severus rasped. He felt Tobias was enjoying the fact that he couldn't get away and could barely talk. He certainly seemed to be using it to his advantage to draw it out.

"Some senior person came over, Amy Bones or something like that. Seems you're the first Deatheater they've caught, or at least the only one with that daft tattoo- don't know how they knew about that mind. I told 'em you'd know fuck all but they still wanted to interview you."

"And..." Severus could feel himself slump with exhaustion despite having done nothing except sit upright and hold a spoon.

"And I said you were an unconscious lump at the moment and the doc's didn't know when you were waking up. She wanted to move you to St Mung's" Tobias said removing the soup before it tipped into Severus' lap and placing it on the table.

"Mungo's, its St Mungo's"

"Whatever, but it seems the hospital won't let 'em without my permission." Tobias paused to drink Severus' glass of water before carrying on. "Good old bureaucracy. So we got a twit in red standing over you instead."

"I'm surprised they didn't move me anyway. Fake your permission." He added

"Yeah well- that's hard to do when I'm here ain't it."

Severus' gaze turned thoughtful. He should be surprised that the Auror didn't just Obliviate everyone and move on anyway. That must have meant that his father had stayed with him pretty much the whole two weeks. It was surprising, completely unexpected, and downright suspicious. He would have to check for polyjuice. The thoughts whirled in his head. Who would go to the bother of pretending to be his father just so he wouldn't be moved to St Mungo's, and evidently, under the care of the Aurors...? Surely not Dumbledore or Lily and Potter, they must have been the ones to set the Aurors on him in the first place. The time limit fit from what he had been told and could vaguely recall. Well that left only one other interested party- the Dark Lord.

"Go to sleep, you stupid git. You'll never get out of the warmed up corpse stage otherwise."

Severus jerked suddenly, startled at the unexpected voice. He looked about him in confusion. He had become so absorbed in his thoughts he had been oblivious to Tobias lowering the headrest so he lay flat and tucking the covers around him. That was it- must be an imposter- Tobias hadn't tucked Severus in since... well... ever. Even at Hogwarts Madam Pomfrey just gave him potions and shuffled him out of the hospital wing, regardless of how injured he was. Damn Potter and Black for always backing up each other's stories. It made him look like a complete liar, so much so that she always thought he was exaggerating his injuries...or at least he assumed that was the reason. Even after the Werewolf Incident he had been sent to his dorm as soon as feasibly possible. Couldn't move him before the Headmaster made him take an oath though, oh no, couldn't let anyone else know there was a dangerous animal on the grounds.

"Yeah. Night then." Severus mumbled, closing his eyes. He made sure to make his breathing even and measured whilst his thoughts raced on. The problem was how to test his new theory. Well he was too knackered to do anything about it now anyway. He'd think on it when he was more awake. Severus welcomed the oblivion of sleep.

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"Ha, I win."

"It's a stupid game anyway!" Tobias grumbled as he threw down his cards.

"Your just pissed 'coz I won." He grinned. Severus had tried to think up some questions to ask the possibly fake Tobias but had struggled to think of anything appropriate. It wasn't as though they had many father son moments and anything he did think of seemed too odd and random to bring up in current conversation. So far he had resigned himself to checking if Tobias drank anything odd or left the room before an hour was up. Only 15 minutes to go.

"Oy." Tobias interrupted Severus' calculating stare at the clock. "What's up?"

"Hmmm". Severus looked down and started dealing the cards, glancing at Tobias before flicking his eyes towards the disinterested Auror.

"I've known you wear that look as a tyke... means you're up to no good." Tobias lowered his voice.

"Bollocks." Severus pushed the cards into Tobias' hand and deliberately dropped one. With a significant look at his father he leaned in and dropped his voice to an almost imperceptible whisper. "Where's my wand?"

"Guess, you silly bugger." He replied "It was the first thing they did when they stormed through the door. It fell out your shirt when I dragged you in. You were unconscious, couldn't see you needing it any time soon so I just left it. Bit hard to explain to the paramedics without you coming across as an absolute nutter." Tobias lent back giving Severus a rough knock to rouse him from his stunned stupor.

He couldn't focus on the cards. They had his wand. He was defenceless. One word ricocheted about his mind...Fuck

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"I won! Seems were even now." Tobias stretched. "Better go. I'm on a late shift."

Severus looked up at the clock. Well, that disproved that theory. But his earlier ruminations had made him wonder what the Dark Lord might do when he found out Severus was in custody… or about to be at any rate.

Severus reached out and grasped Tobias' shirt cuff, stopping him from putting his coat on. "Before you leave... I...I" Severus grimaced. He really should think through what he wanted to say before opening his mouth.

"What lad?" Tobias frowned at him, looking impatient.

"I've woken up..." Severus interrupted before Tobias could cut in with a sarcastic remark. "What happens now?"

"Nurses say you've got to have physiotherapy to build your muscles back up. Your legs were spindly enough in the first place, nowt but sticks now."

"No. I meant... I meant with them" He gestured towards the Auror who looked on curiously, pleased something else was happening besides, patient being asleep, patient playing cards, Patient pissing in bottle.

"You can barely stay awake for more than two hours." He said with irritation.

"So..." he questioned.

"Fucking hell Severus... you keep falling asleep. They ain't going to get much out of you that way, are they! Besides I already told you, they can't move you anywhere until you're discharged."

Severus looked up at him, wanting to say more but not quite daring to. He might be in hospital with an Auror looking on but Severus doubted that would stop his father from giving him a few cuffs if he felt he deserved it. Luckily Tobias must have seen the hesitation and uncertainty because he carried on.

"Which ain't going to be for a week or two yet and the hospital tells me first." Tobias turned away and shrugged on his coat. "The sods will have to wait for you to get better before I let them take you anywhere anyway." He muttered under his breath as he walked away. Or at least that's what Severus thought he heard him say. It was hard to be sure as he felt the turmoil settle, leaving him sleepy and worn out. He had at least a week to plan… time enough to sleep and recuperate.

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"Oh piss off" Severus said as he staggered and skittered his way from the toilet to his bed. It had been a week and he was finally not only able to hold a decent length conversation without falling asleep, but also walk short distances. He was meant to use the two walking sticks which thus far had lain useless by his bedside unless observed by the nurses or physiotherapist.

Tobias didn't even make an effort to control his mirth "You look like a lurching crow." He held out an arm as Severus doubtfully contemplated the open expanse from the wall currently supporting him, to his bed.

"Ha bloody ha-ha!" Severus spat out as he wearily lifted up his legs onto the bed and propped himself up against the headboard. The walk had exhausted him. He wouldn't be in any state to withstand any 'questioning' at this rate he thought sarcastically.

"You doing your exercises?" Tobias questioned. The tightening around his eyes and mouth was the only sign that he was concerned about Severus' slow recovery.

"Yes Mum." Severus replied sarcastically.

Tobias cuffed him hard round the head. "Don't be an ungrateful sod."

Severus sat sullenly for a while. "Sorry," he whispered quietly, feeling slightly ashamed. Tobias had visited every day, often staying well past visiting hours. In fact he had been unusually supportive and accommodating, often bringing fresh fruit and even occasionally surprising Severus with a battered copy of Sherlock Holmes or one of the Robert Louis Stevenson books that Severus used to pour over on rainy days as a young boy. "I am." He picked at a loose thread on the bedcovers "sorry I mean." He stuttered, suddenly realising his mistake. "But I _am_ doing the exercises... If I could have some potions..." He entreated, already knowing the answer.

Tobias interrupted "Humph. Don't even finish that sentence boy. I ain't giving you any hocus-pocus stuff. Look what got you into this mess." Tobias glanced at the Auror before continuing. "Let's go for a walk."

Severus looked up in disbelief. Hadn't they been talking about how feeble he was? He watched as Tobias stalked off, supposedly to find a wheelchair, and resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"You can walk the bits you feel up to," he said as he returned, manhandling Severus into the chair. Honestly he felt like a complete idiot. It didn't help that he could see the Auror smirking slightly even though he was being careful to look at anyone other than Severus or Tobias.

That was the one good thing about Tobias coming in frequently whilst being on an unpredictable shift pattern. He'd walked in one day to find an Auror lazily standing over Severus who'd manage to collapse in the middle of an overly adventurous journey to the patients lounge to watch a bit of TV. He had been going stir crazy from staring at the wall, he'd even tried to talk to the Auror but hadn't got very far, either he wasn't the talkative type or he'd been given orders to keep mum. Severus still got a warm happy feeling when he remembered Tobias making the Auror flee the room. If Severus was being entirely honest with himself he had been petrified at the time, seeing Tobias in such a rage. Usually those particular tantrums were reserved for Severus and he'd had to consciously remind himself that it wasn't aimed at him. He'd still flinched when Tobias had bodily picked him up and plonked him on the bed, although if his father had noticed he'd ignored it. After that they'd been sent slightly older Aurors. Severus could only presume they weren't as easily intimidated.

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The walking and wheel-chairing had become a daily habit, with Severus slowly managing to walk more than he sat. He was steadily making more progress, and compared to a week ago was positively thrumming with energy. Severus glanced up at Tobias who was concentrating unusually hard on avoiding any bump or dip. In fact, when Severus thought about it he had been unusually reserved throughout the visit and had seemed jittery. A word which he had never before associated with his father.

He was almost flung out the wheelchair as it came to a sudden stop. "Come on then lad, you can walk from here." Tobias said as he furtively seized Severus' arm to help him up, something which Tobias hadn't needed to do for a few days. "You're being discharged in a week." He murmured. "I ain't told 'em yet but they'll find out soon enough."

"Well..." Severus gulped before Tobias interrupted him. He had given some thought as to what he could do. Going willingly with the Aurors hadn't crossed his mind. This was the only realistic chance he had of escaping. He hoped that being in a hospital full of muggles would discourage the Auror on guard from drawing his wand, giving Severus enough time to escape. He felt his spirits sink. His magic was still weak, and his strength more so. He had banked on being considerably stronger before being discharged. He doubted an attempt now would be successful and the consequences of a botched effort would quash any future endeavour.

"Would your Mum's wand work for you?" Tobias persisted.

"Yes... I think." Severus said. Startled by the revelation that his father, a man who was openly distrusting and disdaining of anything magical, had kept his Mum's wand after she died (Severus assumed it had been snapped and burned as firewood. He hadn't even considered looking for it), and was willing to carry it about and pass it to Severus. Ironic considering he had spent the majority of Severus' life trying to get him to abandon his 'stupid stick'.

Tobias suddenly spoke in a much louder voice "You know I was wondering what you do now you've finished learning that magic crap. You getting a job or what?"

Severus, slightly startled by the sudden change in topic, but immediately understanding, reacted. "I want to become a Potions Master." He curtly replied.

"What messing about with that cauldron like something out Macbeth? People pay you to do that?" Tobias snorted. "So do you go to university or what?"

"No. You can go to Muggle university and do chemistry as a branch off into alchemy, but to be a Potions Master you need to do an apprenticeship."

"Oh... and you've started that then have you?"

Severus looked suspiciously at Tobias. He'd been loudly complaining since Severus had finished his NEWTS that he hadn't got a job to earn his keep yet. "No... err... I've been trying to get the right job. It's important where you start off. Otherwise you just end up being a lackey for five years."

"So... who'd you want to work for then..."

They continued in this manner for the duration of the walk until the Auror noticeably started losing the will to live, being very familiar with the magical education system.

"Oy, You." Tobias shouted at the Auror.

Severus smothered a smirk at the surprised look on the Aurors face. Severus and Tobias had been doing their best to ignore the imposed guards.

"You tell Amy Bones or whatever her name is I need to speak to her." He demanded.

"Tell me and I'll pass it on." The Auror said straightening, his hand resting lightly on his wand holster.

Tobias snorted. "Not a chance. You tell her I need to speak to her or I stop playing nice... you understand?"

Severus looked on astonished as the Auror meekly nodded and walked away. He was obviously missing something monumental for that threat to have worked. He knew that they couldn't move him to St Mungo's without next of kin's permission since he had been unconscious, and Severus certainly hadn't been keen to revoke that so had remained at Manchester Royal Infirmary. But how exactly had Tobias been 'playing nice'? What power did Tobias have? Severus was of age, had been for two years according to the magical world. He hoped he would get a straight answer when he asked his father. He couldn't bear unexplained mysteries.

"What...how?" Severus really didn't like how his usually sharp wit and extensive vocabulary seemed to vanish in the face of authority figures.

Tobias laughed scornfully. "Oh don't look like that. You didn't think I was completely ignorant of _that_ lot's laws did you? Your Mum used to witter on at me for hours once I found out about her, and then you. As if explaining their laws and how I was protected because I was a Muggle (bloody ridiculous word by the way) was going to make me trust her again."

"I still don't get it. How does that mean they can't arrest me?" Severus questioned.

Tobias sighed "It doesn't. Not when you're out of hospital. But for now they're only allowed in your room because I let them be there. If I say I want them out, the hospital can remove them. The best bit is they're not allowed to object because of their own stupid secrecy laws. I'm sure they'd find a way in anyway, which is why I didn't do it earlier. Didn't want to show my hand too soon."

Severus felt a glimmer of hope. "So why ain't we doing that? I'm well enough to scarper now."

"Because, you twat, they'd find us. They know where we live and I can't just up and move that quick. Besides, apart from being monumentally stupid by joining that group you haven't actually done anything illegal as far as I'm aware... have you?"

"No, no I haven't, I didn't even get a chance to brew anything... but the prophecy..."

"You unknowingly passed on some information you overheard to the wrong people. That's not illegal. Anyway can't this Lily and her fella go to the Aurors and get whisked out the country with new identities? Don't they have the equivalent of police protection?"

"I... have no idea." Severus pondered.

"Well it's worth asking this Bones woma..." Tobias cut off abruptly as Severus doubled over.

"Oh shit." Severus gasped out clutching his arm.

"What the fucks wrong?" Tobias demanded, immediately placing his hands on Severus shoulder and chest to stop him from keeling over.

"He's calling... it's how he summons us." He wheezed out. It had never been quite this painful before, but then again he hadn't had a lot of previous experience to go by. Perhaps it just felt more painful because he was weak.

"Well screw that... let's get you inside." Tobias pushed Severus back into the wheelchair and rushed him back to the ward.

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"Ah, my followers..." Voldemort paused dramatically, "One of our number is missing... Where. Is. Snape?" He pointed towards the gap in the preset positions in the circle.

A small, rather rotund person stepped forward from his position in the circle to kneel. "If you please My Lord, I heard Dumbledore had set the Aurors on Snape after he turned down their offer to spy. He may be at the Ministry holding cells."

"And why... " Voldemort grasped the man's chin hair, dragging his face so their eyes were level. "Was I not told this sooner? How did Snape come into contact with Dumbledore?"

"I believe he had gone to warn the Potters, my Lord, and they in turn contacted Dumbledore." Pettigrew continued hoping to stem the wrath suddenly radiating from the man in front of him. "They were bemoaning the lack of information they got out of him My Lord."

"Find him..." The chilling whisper echoed and reverberated off the stone walls. "Find the deserter..."

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"You feeling better now?" Tobias queried as the nurse started to pack the needles and freshly filled test tubes away.

Severus nodded. He didn't trust himself to do much else. They had given him morphine to dull the pain and his vision was starting to go sparkly. He was so preoccupied with making pretty shapes he didn't see Tobias look at the clock in concern.

"I've got to go to work now..." Tobias paced the room agitatedly. He patted Severus' leg idly as he left.

"Don't you worry, Mr. Snape. The blood results should tell us if there's anything to worry about." The nurse said as he walked out. He barely paused in his stride to nod.

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"Well, Rosier?"

"The Aurors are discontent ,my Lord. It seems they have been on rotation guarding a Deatheater in a Muggle hospital for six weeks." Nott said, disgust dripping from every word. "The description fits Snape's profile. Seems he's still recovering."

"Which hospital? How many Aurors?"

"Manchester Royal, my Lord... One, it seems?" Nott stated warily.

"... I think our dear potions prodigy deserves a personal visit from Lord Voldemort for deserting the cause, don't you? Have Lucius and Mulciber meet me there. We will surprise our errant child."

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Severus pulled himself from his drowsy post morphine state of slumber. He could have sworn he heard a noise. He opened his eyes, only for the face of _His_ Lord to swim into focus. Still numb from the drug, Severus' normally keen sense and quick mind was slow. He glanced towards the corner normally occupied by the Auror only to see empty space. His eyes skimmed down, to see the Auror lying stiff and inert on his back.

Panic had not fully set in before his shoulders were grabbed and he felt a pulling motion in his groin. His finger, half a centimetre from the call button, swirled away in a whirl of colour. The pop of apparition could be heard as the two men disappeared.


	3. Chapter 3

Hi Folks- sorry- mis-loaded the chapters- muddled it with the one my Beta hadn't looked at- this one is much better!

Sorry to my wonderful patient Beta...*grovel grovel*

I'm not J.K.

* * *

"It is done?"

"It is, my Lord" replied Lucius and Mulciber, bowing low, their robes still bloody from the task they had performed.

"Good, now let us turn to more pressing matters." The Dark Lord turned, gesturing with his hand to the cluttered table in the centre of the dimly lit room.

The three men walked together towards the maps, thinking no more about the events of the past four days, their minds focused wholly on their next plot.

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Severus squinted up at the blurring figures shouting down at him. He tried to focus on the obscure angular outlines that seemed to be moving alternately in slow motion and then double time, outlined by a bright white light.

He flinched back as hands came towards him. He curled in on himself before proceeding to ignore his surroundings. Bar the shouting and blinding light they weren't hurting him, they were also lacking the black shapeless cloaks and tell-tale glint that usually accompanied torchlight reflecting off silver masks, so it was fairly safe to assume they weren't Deatheaters. Not that he had been able to ignore _them_... he tried to quell the rising bile and fear that the thought of being in that cold room amongst the Dark Lord and his followers inspired.

He turned his mind to the elusive thought that was hammering on his consciousness to be remembered. He forced himself to think through the fog and strange capriciousness in his mind that indicated severe magical interference, until he felt a firm hand grasp his arm. His sodden, clenching, blindingly painful arm...

Must focus... It was hard, so hard. Severus had thought that he could cope with pain... he had before, but this... he had not had to suffer through pain like this before, or the accompanying light-headedness that made it so hard to just _think_. He found it faintly ridiculous that in the mist of such agony he could identify the queasy feeling that always accompanied side-long apparation.

"Stop..." His voice was hoarse and grated against his abused vocal cords. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Stop". He winced at his cracking voice. He forced his eyes to look at the moving images, distorted by what must be sunlight, and discerned his father in the mist of strangers as the one grabbing his arm.

"Severus... Jesus boy, you never can do anything by half, can you." Tobias was crouched by Severus who noted in a detached sort of way, that indicated severe blood loss, the tears streaming down his father's unusually white face.

"The Auror is calling medics from St Mungo's, lad... the bugger doesn't know how to use the sodding telephone to call the ambulance so he hopped through the bloody fireplace." Tobias voice broke. "Let's get you off that doorstep...eh?" He muttered as, with untold gentleness, he placed one arm under Severus legs and another around his shoulders, before lifting him from the stoop.

Severus nodded before realising this made him far too dizzy. Instead he decided that resting his head in the crook of his father's neck was a much better idea. It also blocked out the slightly disturbing sight of his father crying, although at this point he had to quell the strange, and more than a bit inappropriate desire to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. He forced his eyes to remain open as he felt them close against his will, and his body become even more sluggish and cold than it had been.

When Tobias set Severus down on his bed, his eyes widened at the sight of Tobias' shirt, the whole front wet with blood, gently dripping onto the cracked floorboards.

"Put a belt round it as a tourniquet, slow the bleeding..." Severus whispered, as he took a deep breath, gingerly holding what remained of his left arm out.

Severus eyes widened in surprise as Tobias, instead of looking for another belt hurriedly fumbled with his own, taking it off and looping it, before looking at Severus with beseeching eyes. Severus realised that despite the growing giddiness, lethargy and agony he would have to give direction.

"Put it about here," Severus said, pointing above his elbow. He turned his face towards the wall as he spoke his next sentence through gritted teeth. He didn't want to see his father guide the belt round his stump. He felt sick every time he looked at his arm, expecting to see a forearm and hand. He struggled not to think about what His Lord had so very kindly reminded Severus of as a parting shot... but no... he wouldn't let that be taken from him, not if he could prevent it. With an energy that seemed misplaced and incongruous Severus turned his mind firmly to his freshly determined task.

"Pull it tight... as tight as it goes," Severus murmured as he felt the leather, oddly gentle and cool against his fevered skin. He bit his lip, banging his head sharply against the wall as he involuntarily threw his head back. Blinking the black spots from his vision, he tried to remain conscious through the sudden, white hot searing pain.

"Severus, Severus, bloody hell, Severus... what next boy... what do I do now?"

Severus blinked owlishly from his slumped position on the bed. He could tell Tobias was shouting but it seemed distant and muffled to his ears.

"Po...potions... trunk." He nodded towards his paper covered leather trunk which he had been using as an impromptu desk. He didn't even wince as his father undid the clasps and lifted the lid, not caring about the spilt ink flowing over and smudging his treasured research papers and books.

"Bollocks boy, you and your damn potions... " Severus paid no mind to Tobias' muttering, instead doing internal calculations. To say he had thought about this exact situation would be an exaggeration, but he had given some though to hypothetical quandaries, some of which involved healing deep wounds or maiming. Severus had encountered such events since being a potioneer in his Lord's service, and as such had given thought as to what could be done. Of course he had never thought he would be on the receiving end of his own treatment, instead always imagining he would be doing the healing or directing a suitable lackey, not his magic hating, potions distrusting father.

"Don't you dare pass out on me."

Severus looked up at his father, "I'm going to try something, and you will help me." He had made his decision, he was going to try and regenerate his hand. "You can beat me all you like after," he said as an attempt at levity.

Tobias' lips compressed into a thin line, but he didn't move from his crouched position by the trunk. "Well... what the fuck do you want me to do?"

He replied in a fairly level, calm tone considering the circumstances. "Get out the black leather box and put it on the foot of the bed."

Tobias lifted the box which took up at least a quarter of the space in his trunk. Severus watched as Tobias undid the fiddly, patched-up clasps and opened the lid.

"Jesus..." Tobias looked speechless at the number of potions inside, most were finished and ready to use, but some were just base formulas. "Boy... " he said uncertainly. God knows it was amazing that he had followed Severus' instruction up to this point.

"Just... trust me... please?" Severus voice was pleading, but he didn't care. All it took was a slight give in Tobias' posture for Severus to bark out his next instruction.

"Blood replenishing potion, it's the red one in the right hand corner." He grimaced at the metallic taste as Tobias brought the glass to his lips and tipped it for him to drink. Severus tightly closed his mouth and fought down the urge to heave as he felt the thick liquid coat his throat. He sighed as he felt the dizziness recede a bit.

"Next I'll need some Laudanum- it's the reddish-brown one, second row, third one on the left."

"Ain't this opium? I thought this was illegal?" Tobias paused his hand half closed on the bottle

"Really? We're going to do this now? It's a strong pain killer... " Severus stared tiredly at Tobias' glare and took a chance with his next sentence. He knew he was pushing it but he really didn't have the time, energy or resources to argue. "Just a mouthful, I need to be conscious."

He almost smiled as he watched Tobias grip the vial firmly and carefully pour a meagre amount into a cup. If he was feeling sardonic he would have made a quip, but instead settled for a weary eyebrow raise. "I'm not an addict you know... it really is for medicinal use."

Severus took the accompanying derisive snort from Tobias as it was meant. They would discuss this another time. Severus was not naive enough to think that if he recovered there wouldn't be repercussions from lying to Tobias about not making illegal potions. Not that laudanum was illegal as such-just Ministry controlled both in terms of brewing and prescription. As a result there was a penalty both for brewing, owning and issuing it. Severus had not distributed any, not that he could verify that. He had brewed it more to prove to himself that he could. He never threw away a successful potion, not until it expired anyway.

The numbing effect cleared his head. Severus listed the next potions he would need in a rapid manner, gulping the mixtures down as soon as they were in sipping distance.

Wound Cleaning Potion applied on gauze and then pressed onto the stump for two minutes, repeated until the gauze became clear of debris. Ginger, to lessen the nausea and slow the blood clotting process. Mint leaves to chew, to relax the muscles. Tincture of Witch Hazel, to reduce the swelling. Concentrate of ginseng to stimulate the immune system.

Severus subconsciously noted the return of the Auror, who stood sentry at the door, not interfering. Tobias, however, was not so inattentive.

"Well... where the bloody hell are the doctors?"

The Auror looked uncomfortable and pale, not only at the blood covering the bed sheets and the potion bottles, some full, some empty, littering the bed and floor, but also at Tobias' rapidly mounting temper.

"They're coming... said that we couldn't bring him through the Floo so..." The Auror ended in a helpless shrug. Severus looked on as Tobias took a deep breath before opening his mouth and decided to cut in before the only other person in the room who understood the rudiments of measuring ingredients was scared away.

"Oy, you" Severus throatily barked, nodding at the Auror. "Mix one part Skel-Gro to two parts three percent saline base..." He waited until the man nervously reached past Tobias to get to the box and pick out the correct bottles, a beaker and stirring rod.

"Dad..." Severus winced internally about how childish he sounded, waiting for Tobias to turn and face him instead of eye-balling the back of the Auror. "You know in Dr Who, when he regenerates?" Severus waited for the nod. Tobias had come home one night, miraculously sober and surprisingly willing to sit through the popular TV show that eight year old Severus had wanted to watch. It had become a sporadic habit and as a child Severus had learnt it was the one television show that contained magic like qualities that Tobias never turned off or got angry about, possibly because it was so well established. "Well, I'm going to try and do that, but with my forearm and hand." Severus ignored the start from the Auror.

"Let me guess... it ain't been done before." Tobias replied only slightly scathingly.

Severus didn't reply, but mutely shook his head.

"What do you need"

Severus was surprised by Tobias' immediate compliance but didn't waste time being relieved. Time was of the essence and he could feel his breathing grow more sporadic and shallow, saw the black haze encroaching on his peripheral vision.

"More blood replenishing potion and the Skel-Gro he's making up." He watched as the Auror silently handed Tobias the mixture and plucked out the other potion that was needed.

Severus looked towards the Auror again, "There should be Essence of Dittany and Essence of Murtlap in there. Mix them up, equal amounts of both, and then put it on the stump using the gauze."

Severus eyebrows knitted together as he choked down the potions. Although the laudanum numbed most of the pain, he still arched in agony when the gauze with the essences were applied. Having the Auror here was an unexpected bonus in terms of getting the potions he needed ready, but it could hinder the next part of his plan. The fates seemed to be on Severus' side for once as a rush of wind and noise downstairs signified the arrival of someone via the fireplace, causing the Auror to rush downstairs. No doubt he was relieved a medi-wizard or healer had arrived, ending his impromptu lesson in advanced first aid.

Severus pulled Tobias' ear close to his mouth using his right hand. "Get me Mam's wand."

It was a mark of Tobias' trust, or possibly he was still shell shocked, Severus thought, but regardless, after giving Severus an appraising look he turned and walked hurriedly out of Severus' room, probably to his own bedroom. Severus for his own part turned to look at the result of his work thus far. He could feel the Skel-Gro working, despite no visible evidence, although at such a low concentration he expected the bone re-growth to be very slow, something that was necessary if he were to have a functioning arm and hand.

Severus could hear the tread of footsteps and the low murmur of voices as Tobias returned holding out his wife's wand in a way that would have been comical in any other situation. Severus all but snatched it from his hand. He took a deep breath to steady his increasing tremors and started to cast.

"Vulnera Sanentur, Vulnera Sanentur," Severus sang in a croaky voice. Thank god the quality of singing didn't have much impact on the healing in this particular spell, he thought. But this was not the spell he was concerned about-this spell he had invented in his fifth year and had perfected the incantation by his sixth. He knew the wand motions, could do them even in his current exhausted state with shocking accuracy. It was the others, the ones that he had been creating as the potions coursed through his body that he was terrified about.

He didn't look up as the Auror and medic entered his room, didn't blink as he saw Tobias move from his position by his bed to presumably stop them from interrupting him, ignored the shouting and wild gesticulation between the Auror and Tobias which indicated violence was impending. Severus poured all his focus, energy and heart into the words he sang, an oddly discordant sound in the tense room, desperation moving every syllable, giving the spell far more meaning and intent than the words themselves.

"Cresco lacerti, nervus, carotis... lacerti, nervus, carotis redintegro os" On and on Severus chanted, smoothly, slowly, weaving the borrowed wand in a circular motion around the end of his stump, closing his eyes as blue, red and yellow wisps of light entwined together and caressed his arm, seemingly sinking into the wound.

"Cresco lacerti, nervus, carotis... lacerti, nervus, carotis redintegro os... cresco lacerti, nervus, carotis... lacerti, nervus, carotis redintegro os." The intonations changed as Severus continued. The movement of his wand focused on different parts of the arm as the vessels, muscles, bone and skin developed before the onlookers' eyes.

He heard the gasps and smiled. Good, that meant it was working. He could feel the pull of his magic directing where the energy of the spell needed to be, felt his reserves drawing themselves up for one last flood, instead of the dribble typically described in the textbooks. He kept tempo as he chanted, intuitively knowing that he couldn't falter in the spell, that to do so would be worse than stopping suddenly.

He felt utter desolation and abandonment as he felt the last of his magic push out of his core into his arm. Having given all he had to give he fell abruptly silent. Suddenly feeling exhausted and nauseous he couldn't raise his head, couldn't open his eyes to look at the expectant, questioning, faces by his side. He gently dropped his left arm to rest by his side. Clenched his eyes as hot pressure built up behind them. His painfully loud swallow in the expectant silence seemed to do what no words could. He turned his face towards the wall as the salty tears seeped from the corners of his eyes, making wet trails down his chin.

"What did you stop for, boy?" The words Tobias uttered were not particularly loud but they seemed deafening.

Severus opened his eyes, swimming dark pools staring into his father's. "It's gone." He choked out the two words, and felt a keening rise up in his throat. He buried his face into Tobias' chest as the unholy noise escaped his throat. The weariness that he had held at bay only through belligerence and determination took root firmly, dragging his conscious into oblivion.

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Tobias' hand changed position to support his son's head, cradling it gently as he lowered Severus down onto the bloody sheets and pillows, silent tears of his own dropping onto Severus' upturned face.

"What do we do... WHAT DO WE DO?" He shouted as he turned towards the two silent spectators. For a moment it looked as though no one was going to answer him.

"We continue what your son was trying to do... Auror Pewit, firecall Artifact Accidents, tell them to send Professor Spleen and the emergency team with full kit straight away."

Tobias paid no attention as the Auror hurried down stairs. Instead he watched nervously as the still unnamed medi-wizard levitated Severus into the air before creating a stretcher, which also floated, cradling Severus in a protective embrace.

"We need to move your son to a larger room, preferably with room for equipment to be laid out as well. What room is best?" The healer authoritatively asked, not yet introducing herself.

Tobias was unusually subdued and passive as he forced his sluggish mind to focus on the mundane question. "Kitchen? But the table ain't big enough to lay him on."

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Tobias sat on the sofa staring dully at the continuous quiet activity surrounding the makeshift table in the den. Professor Spleen had arrived four hours ago and called in yet more people (some sort of Experimental Research team as far as Tobias could make out) after a brief conversation with the healer and Auror Prewitt, who'd explained what his boy had been trying to do.

He hadn't really understood what had happened since their arrival four hours ago, and no one had seen fit to explain anything. In fact none of the buggers had spoken to Tobias other than to request items or tell him to get out his own kitchen. In the end he had just brought down the lad's trunk and let them rifle through it. So here he sat, amongst the remains of Chinese take-away he had ordered for folk to dip into so they wouldn't die of starvation, on the sofa which he had heaved out the way, half blocking the stairs.

He sat, ruminating over the bits of conversation he had managed to understand and overhear. It seemed that what Severus had been trying to do had only been theorised about. As a result he had lots of magic folk busily chanting the spell his lad had poured his heart and soul into before breaking down and slipping into unconsciousness, while others were concocting God knows what in his kitchen, using damned stupid cauldrons. He couldn't see how they were getting Severus to swallow the potions in his unresponsive state but they must be managing it because they kept giving them to him. Apparently they were quite impressed with the results so far, and were continuing to use him as a guinea pig. He just hoped that they healed some of his other wounds as well as focusing on re-growing that damn arm.

He stirred as one of the more sinister looking Aurors limped over to sit by him from his position in the corner. His appearance brought to mind that of a pirate, and Tobias could understand Severus' desperation to re-grow his arm if this was the standard of prosthetics the wizarding world could offer.

"Looks like he's been through the wringer." Alastor Moody nodded towards the wraith-like body on the table. Severus' thin figure seemed even more skeletal now the healers had stripped of his shirt, cleaned the blood off and healed the more superficial cuts with some thick green gung before covering his fevered skin with a thick blanket

Tobias just shrugged. It was a fairly obvious statement. He felt too exhausted to reply, particularly as a glance at the clock indicated his shift started in two hours. He felt his spirits sink as the Auror settle back, indicating he was in for a long conversation.

"What I can't figure out though, is why You-Know-Who did what he did?" The Auror said in a gruff voice.

Tobias stared in disbelief at the man sitting beside him, feeling his anger rise as he recognised the bait in the sentence. He was resolved not to say anything- not that he knew much anyway, but he wasn't going to gossip like an old fisherwoman about his son's motives. Especially when said son was no more than three feet in front of him looking like a corpse, apart from the steady , if shallow, rise and fall of his chest.

"So… Prewitt filled me in a bit. Seems you found him shaking like the devil, half-an-arm less on your doorstep? No pops of apparition? No odd people in the distance watching him?" Moody asked, pulling out a notebook and a dicta quill.

"Nope." He curtly answered "Was focused on the boy anyway." Tobias added after a short pause.

"Course… So, can you describe the events that occurred after finding Severus on your doorstep?"

"Would've thought your colleague filled you in," Tobias replied, keeping his eyes fixed on Severus.

"He did, but he wasn't there for all of it..."

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The impromptu question and answer session continued in much the same vein for some two hours, with Tobias answering with a few words as possible, until a knock on the door interrupted the flow.

"Jesus Toby, you look fucked, mate." Exclaimed Jack, as he stared in shock at Tobias. It wasn't unusual for them to knock on each other's doors if they were on the same shift at the mill.

"Boy's ill."

"Badly?"

"Aye."

"Coming or staying?" Well they weren't exactly friends, Tobias thought, it wasn't as though he could expect anything less.

"Coming, I need to tell the Foreman and he'll think I'm pissed otherwise." With that Tobias, grabbed his coat and joined the throng of men trudging in the same direction to the mill.

A brief inadequate, half concocted explanation later and he had the rest of the week off. If nothing else his voice had managed to prove what no words could-that he was completely unfit for work, and not through drink.

His footsteps crunched loudly on the pavement as he retraced his steps home. In retrospect, walking out the house had probably been rash, the twats could do anything to Severus in his absence. His boy certainly hadn't been treated well by any of them so far.

Tobias walked into a scene of complete chaos.

"What the fuck is happening?" Tobias shouted. He'd been gone less than 20 minutes. He tried to push his way past the crowd of people busily obeying the barked orders from a serious chap in dark green, but was stopped by two Aurors, including the one who had the peg leg who seemed strangely immovable considering. Tobias was by no means a slight man.

"Calm down," Auror Moody firmly ordered. "Calm down. Come over here and get out their way, man." Seeing it had very little effect he went for shock tactics instead "Do you want him to die! No? Then. Move."

Tobias stopped fighting, but stood immobile until the firm grip on his shoulders forced him to move back.

Moody bit back an exasperated sigh, "Daisy, Daisy get over here and explain..." he yelled at a slender woman in blue.

Tobias stared as the slip of a girl stood nervously wringing her hands and stumbled over her explanation. Seems that the potions and spell casting had overloaded his son's body sending it into shock, causing him to seize. They were stabilising him as best they could, but it was touch and go. They had stopped the seizures for now but they couldn't stop the spells to re-grow his arm as they had got as far as his wrist. If they stopped now, that was it-they couldn't re-start, the wound needed to be fresh.

Tobias felt his legs give, leaning heavily on the Aurors who still had hold of him. He heard words being muttered and felt a tingling sensation coat his body from his head down. He slipped into the welcoming darkness of sleep, still trying to glimpse his son.


	4. Chapter 4

Hi Everyone. Thanks for the lovely reviews and constructive feedback :-)

Thanks to my ace Beta once again :-)

And I'm, alas, not J.K.

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Severus stifled a groan as he left the comforting warmth of sleep. He panicked for a moment, feeling a cold hard surface underneath the skin of his bare back. Then he remembered, with no small amount of relief, being returned to Spinner's End. Familiar musty smells and the stale odour of spilt beer confirmed he was still at home, although why he was on a table he didn't know. Last thing he remembered was being on his bed trying experimental magic with his father…

Severus opened his eyes, a sickening dread filling his stomach. He couldn't bring himself to look down at his arm, couldn't bear to think that it hadn't worked, that he would have to live life with one hand unable to handle a cauldron. Instead he turned his head to the right and fearfully commanded his arm to move. He couldn't help the sob that rose up in his throat at his failure; he ignored the fleeting thought that he must have shed his body weight in sodding tears this week. He quenched the noise almost as soon as it started; nevertheless, he felt a rough hand close on his left shoulder. He turned to look at the face the calloused hand belonged to.

"Dad" He tried to say more but choked on the words. His face must have given away what he was feeling. He felt too exhausted to occlude, not that he could get away with doing it at home anyway. The few times he had tried it, his father had noticed his blank, aloof expression that inevitably occurred when he did it and had slapped him for being 'an uppity twat'.

"Don't move, lad, you took a turn for the worse." Tobias said in an unusually rough, gravelly tone. He looked as though he was going to say more but remained silent, his hand absently patting Severus' shoulder.

"Sorry…I just…" Severus trailed off as he started to cry in earnest. He covered his face with his right arm, burying his face in the crook of his elbow, as if that would make the heaving sobs less evident.

"Oy, come off it... Stop it, I said, boy" Tobias said as his gentle hand turned rough, grabbing Severus' arm and forcibly removing it from his face. "Give over you daft git, you'll make yourself ill!"

"It doesn't matter... noting matters," Severus wailed rather melodramatically.

"What are you talking about you daft twat? It worked! If you weren't on death's door I'd give you such a hiding. Try something stupid like that again and you won't sit down for a month, even if it is a revolutionary success."

"It worked? It worked!" Severus stared up in disbelief at Tobias until his silent nod prompted him to look down at his left arm. He gazed at it, staring with his mouth open at the covered whole limb. Relief coursed through his veins as he lay stupefied. The fact he couldn't feel his arm or hand, let alone move them, barely hampered the feeling of overwhelming relief, followed by jubilation. He started to laugh, despite the worried look his father gave him.

"Ah good, Mr. Snape, you're awake. Let's have a look at you, shall we?" Professor Spleen interrupted, unfolding himself from his chair in the corner.

Severus glanced worriedly at his father "...what?"

"I'll explain after they've checked you out, lad." Tobias replied promptly, slowly moving from his position by Severus' side to protectively stand by his head, still within touching distance.

"Now then, let's have a look at this arm," Professor Spleen said, gently uncovering Severus' torso. Severus frowned as the medi-wizard muttered a spell and looked expectantly at him.

Severus shrugged as well as he was able whilst still lying horizontally. "What?"

"I placed a cooling spell on your arm, which reduces swelling and aids the healing, but it also numbs any feeling. I was hoping upon its removal you would feel some sensation. No matter..." He turned away to rummage in a bag. "Now, close your eyes. Tell me if you feel anything."

Severus gulped nervously but complied, glancing up at the reassuring presence of his father. After a short pause he opened his eyes in excitement. "I felt something, on my shoulder."

"Good, now close your eyes," Professor Spleen replied in a professional but dispassionate tone, despite the positive words.

They continued until Severus said that he could feel the sensation of a small pin following a path from his shoulder to his wrist and back again on both his arms. He tried to contain his jubilation upon _feeling_, but it was difficult not to feel ecstatic as it confirmed he had functioning nerves. He knew he looked ridiculous grinning from ear to ear like a simpleton after one test, especially as he still didn't know if the muscles worked-a key component to having a functioning arm-but just couldn't bring himself to care, or take his joyful stare away from the slightly disconcerted medi-wizard.

"There are still some tests to go, Mr. Snape. Try not to get too excited. This is good, but it is the start. There may be problems yet." And with that, the Professor turned back to his little black bag to extract, of all things, a tuning fork and a three empty glass bowls, whose purpose became obvious soon after.

Severus shivered as a cold tuning fork was pressed on his sternum and then on his arms, face, legs and feet (the purpose of this eluded Severus) and flinched when water of varying temperatures was flicked on his arm, with him identifying whether it was hot, cold or lukewarm.

"Now I want you to move your arm from side to side. Now lift your whole arm up and down from the shoulder. And from the elbow... turn you hand so it faces up...now so it's palm down... good! Now we shall test your hand."

Severus' smile widened further, if that was possible, as he felt as well as saw, Professor Spleen take hold of his hand and moved each finger up and down individually. "Now, close your eyes, I want you to tell me what direction I move your fingers in."

Once Severus had done this, the medi-wizard again picked up the tuning fork, this time making it vibrate. Severus winced as the cold metal touched his hand and tried to suppress his flinches as it sent gentle pulsing sensations though his fingers. "Now for the last sensation test ..." He said, getting out a caliper like object. "Close your eyes, tell me if you feel one or two stimuli."

Severus closed his eyes, his whole body tense with excitement and nervous energy as he anticipated the contact. He frowned and bit back a disappointed sigh as he only felt one point of sensation on the fingers on his left hand, as oppose to two on his right.

"Almost done, if you can sit up..."

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Severus rubbed his left arm slowly, sitting in silence as he contemplated what Professor Spleen had said, and alternated between looking at the exercises that had been left on his bedside and looking at the unblemished skin of his left forearm.

The 'not long now' had been a good forty-five minutes of moving his shoulder, elbow, forearm, wrist, fingers and thumb in a variety of mundane movements and comparing it with his right arm or actively trying to push against whatever movement the healer was trying to force his limb into. Severus felt that Professor Spleen had been entirely too enthusiastic with his so called 'tendon hammer', bloody mini instrument of torture. The upshot of it all was his condition was better than expected but not as good as hoped for. Severus' left arm was functional; gross motor movement was good, but fine motor movement was disappointingly inaccurate and muscle strength was weak. Possible improvement expected if an exercise regime was followed "_strictly and to the letter_!", but the lack of sensation would never improve.

He pushed his head further into his pillow. Tobias had bodily carried him to bed after the examination like he was a small child. Not that he could have walked up the stairs; he could barely sit up by the end of the tests. His father had to stand behind him so Severus wouldn't fall off the table. That had been somewhat embarrassing as Severus had been naked, bar the sheet that was draped over him. Not that Tobias hadn't seen Severus naked before, but he had been less self-aware at the age of three. He hadn't even had the energy or ability to put on pyjamas. Yet another task that had caused enormous embarrassment on both sides, as Tobias, after plonking Severus on the bed, had to bend down to guide his legs through the correct trouser holes, studiously ignoring Severus' tackle no more than a foot from his head, as well as help him pull the trousers up. After that mortifying experience Severus had been glad when Tobias had turned and walked out the room without a word.

He was still reeling over the fact that he not only had a semi-functioning left arm, but he had a _semi functioning left arm with no Dark Mark!_ All Severus felt was a weariness that went to his bones and a relief that he had survived his most recent, and hardest, experience yet. He went to sleep thinking that the torture and hardship he had endured this last week might just have been worth it for that alone.

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Severus sat leaning against his headboard in bed contemplating that his life never did seem to be smooth. It seemed he couldn't go one bloody day without reality prodding him in the sodding arse, and kicking him in the nadgers.

His recuperation had lasted all of a night and a morning before Professor Spleen had arrived with Amelia Bones and what appeared to be a troop of Aurors and junior healers. Severus _had_ been asleep, but had been rudely awakened about five minutes ago. He looked groggily up at the crowd of people in his room, and sleepily tried to make sense of the three arguments that were going on simultaneously, before deciding that he was too tired for this and really needed a piss.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Severus halted mid manoeuvre to stare up at a particularly grizzled Auror who had been in the midst of an enthusiastic argument with Amelia Bones and Professor Spleen. "For a piss, if you don't mind," he added sarcastically, going into his default mode despite, or perhaps because of, his emotional exhaustion.

He was saved replying further by the Professor. "I assure you Auror Moody he can't run away in his condition, or do magic yet... In fact, taking him into a highly charged magical atmosphere could set back his recovery; we do not yet know what will affect it..."

Severus remained seated, silently contemplating that nugget of information and filling it away to think about later. He remembered the Professor muttering something about his magical core having been depleted to a dangerous extent, and needing to abstain from magic to allow it to strengthen, but at that point he had been unable to keep his eyes open let alone focus and concentrate enough to listen to complex medical magical theory.

"Boy's a Deatheater and we need to take him in for questioning." Moody interrupted pointing a finger straight at Severus, despite his unwavering gaze on the Healer's face.

"But... I've not got a tattoo... look" Severus proffered his bare forearm, relieved to be wearing a t-shirt for once. He knew it was a long shot but it might throw a spanner in the works. He swallowed dryly as the Auror's face twisted into an ugly menacing sneer.

"Give up boy, we've seen it. Nay mind the daft stunt you pulled with your arm."

"What? What stunt? I...I..." Severus stumbled over his words, his mind whirring ten to the dozen. This was all going so wrong. All he'd done was try and warn Lily and now he was in the middle of all this! He shivered at the thought of going to Azkaban, something that _had_ seemed a remote possibility, but was now looking increasingly likely. He sighed in relief as he spotted Tobias pushing through the throng of people.

"Get out the bloody way, you lot." Tobias growled roughly, pulling a crowd of onlookers out the room unceremoniously by their collars. "You ain't taking him anywhere yet."

"We're within our rights to take him for questioning. He's 19... An adult." Moody turned to face an irate Tobias.

"Maybe, but he's ill, needs medical attention, he's got a right to it," Tobias replied, trying to get the situation under control.

"Aye and he'll get it. When he's in custody." Moody's stance shifted, his hand rested lightly on his wand.

"Then your damn well taking me." Tobias argued, his eyes narrowing.

"No."

Tobias voice lowered to a sinister whisper. "My boy has been overdosed, tortured and maimed. You try and fucking well stop me!" His shoulders heaved with indignation.

Both men broke eye contact at the same time, as Severus, having successfully stood, started to keel over almost comically in slow motion, like a sapling being blown over by a strong wind. Tobias lunged forward to catch him before he fell.

"He ain't well. Any fool can see that," Tobias muttered, his arms under Severus' as the lad clung to his waist in an effort to stay upright, his feet all akimbo. With a strong heave Tobias hoisted Severus' arms over his shoulders and hooked one arm under his legs. It was unnerving how light Severus was, and how easily Tobias could lift him.

"Indeed. We will wait for you downstairs." Amelia Bones stopped the argument, standing tall and commanding in the centre of the room. "Auror Moody with me if you please!" She ordered as she strode downstairs. Pausing at the top until Auror Moody followed begrudgingly.

"Need a piss," Severus whispered into his father's ear. Tobias nodded. He buried his face in the nook of his father's neck as Tobias walked in the direction of the bathroom. For a household not given to sentimentality or physical affection both were finding the contact reassuring, and seeking it out where normally they would have avoided it.

"Can you stand?" Tobias asked when they got to the bathroom.

"Probably." Severus replied with a wry grin on his face. Tobias, with a gentleness that was becoming more common, lowered his son's feet to the floor and held him steady until he gained his balance. He turned away as Severus tottered the last few steps to the toilet, unbuttoned his trousers and urinated.

When it was clear Severus had finished both men turned to look at each other. The intense, expectant silence was broken by Severus' thin voice. "I should probably have a bath."

"Aye. Wash your hair, you scruffy bugger."

Severus bit back his initial sarcastic reply, and merely nodded. Not only did he feel grubby, he didn't want to test Tobias' patience. He had noticed the obvious worry in his father's eyes that made his face look gaunt and pale. He felt slightly ashamed as he re-evaluated his initial assumption. Not that he had thought his father would be indifferent to his suffering, but maybe a certain amount of apathy, a sense that he was getting his comeuppance? Guilt bubbled up in his gut, making his insides clench.

He watched as Tobias turned to leave him to his absolutions. "Before you go... thanks..." The words were inadequate for the help and support that his father had provided but he couldn't think of what else to say. He just knew that he had to acknowledge it... whatever 'it' was.

Tobias jerkily nodded his head. "I'll get you some clothes." He said quietly in response, firmly shutting the bathroom door behind him, leaving Severus alone.

He slipped into the bath unaided, but with incredible difficulty. His left arm wouldn't support his weight and his legs were weak and rubbery. He even struggled to hold the soap.

"Damn it!" He exclaimed loudly as the jug to wash the shampoo out his hair slipped out his hands, clattering loudly against the taps. It was too heavy to lift just using his right hand, even half filled.

"I can't lift the jug to do my hair..." He growled in frustration as the door banged open, revealing a worried looking Tobias.

Silently his father picked the jug out the bath and resignedly poured the water over Severus' hair repeatedly until it ran clear. It was strange, how close they were at that particular moment. Neither needed to speak as Tobias stayed to gently wash his son's back with a flannel, taking extra care over the fresh looking whip scars that had been overlooked by the healers, in favour of healing the more serious wounds.

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Severus nervously examined his reflection in the mirror. He had been startled when Tobias had shoved some of his best clothes at him with an order to get dressed. He'd done as best he could, but despite their heights being similar, his father was a stocky man and the clothes hung off him. He'd had to use braces and a belt to hold the trousers up, but still felt as though he was exposing himself to the world.

"Well what do you think?" he said, holding his arms awkwardly away from his sides with a grimace.

"It'll do." Tobias replied quickly buttoning up the thick cotton shirt for him. Severus' attempts had been astonishingly bad. "Here," he said, holding out a blue jersey, "it's cold out."

Severus just nodded in response and tugged it over his head. He turned back to his reflection. Well it hid the obvious folds in the shirt. At least the jumper wasn't black, he thought wryly; otherwise he might be mistaken for a Dementor... which reminded him.

"Will you need your winter coat?" Severus asked out the blue. He looked at his feet under Tobias' calculating stare. "It's just... the Dementor's make you cold."

"Demon what?"

"Dementor's." Severus said gulping. "They...guard the prison."

"You can't go to prison if you've not done anything illegal," Tobias replied impatiently.

"Severus just looked at him doubtfully. He wasn't sure how to explain the judicial system in the magical world, where opinion counted as much as facts—or so he had heard."

"Can you walk downstairs?" Tobias said, abruptly changing the subject. "Your schoolbooks would tell me more about these demon things I suppose." he said as he backed down the stairs in front of Severus, holding his waist in an iron grip as they descended.

Severus nodded. "It's in the book with the black cover on my desk. By the by, where's my trunk with my other books and potions?"

"Same place as your wand by now, I should think." he replied absently, focusing on the tiny trembles he could feel through his son's thick clothing.

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"Head up lad. I'll see you in a bit." Tobias whispered as Severus was led, trembling despite the thick winter coat Tobias had suddenly draped on his shoulders, to the fireplace. He had started shaking when it became clear he would be going to the ministry holding cells for questioning, despite the healers' and his father's best efforts to persuade the Aurors otherwise. The discussion had lasted a good hour but in the end the verdict was conclusive. The debate had been more about the conditions he would be held in considering recent events, and whether Tobias would be allowed to be present during questioning.

It was awkward, not only was he handcuffed to Auror Moody, but Professor Spleen had refused to follow afterwards and was joining them in Floo travel. Something that Severus was intensely glad for, but it made the whole operation of travelling using the tiny open fire more difficult, and Severus refused to get closer to the Auror than he absolutely had to. Despite that resolution he kept bumping into everything, including Moody who looked about as thrilled with the whole situation as Severus felt.

Severus watched as the forms of his father, Amelia Bones, the other Aurors and junior healers alike merged together in a smoky, eerie haze of green as he jumped, or more accurately half heartedly skipped, into the fireplace with his entourage. He had only travelled by Floo a few times before and felt even more disoriented and light-headed during the smoky journey. He suddenly felt glad that he was pressed hard up against two firm bodies as it was all he could do to not vomit, let alone stand upright. As it was he ended up on his knees on the hard tiled floor trying not to heave as they arrived in the atrium. He didn't even feel well enough to protest at his being bundled onto a stretcher, presumably by the professor. It was a mark of how ill he felt that instead of analysing his surroundings he clenched his eyes shut, focusing on controlling his breathing and slowing his racing heart to stop from passing out.

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"You all right boy? They treated you well?" Tobias enquired as he strode towards Severus. The boy looked better than he had two weeks ago but he was still too pale and thin. Tremors shook his frame at regular intervals, but nothing like the constant involuntary twitches before.

"Well enough." Severus shifted in his seat and glanced meaningfully at Auror Moody and Madam Bones who were sat at the table opposite.

Tobias ignored the not so subtle glance. Instead he grasped Severus's shoulders and turning him in his seat to look at him clearly. "They treated you well?" He repeatedly harshly.

"Yes. As well as they can." He replied honestly. And in truth they had. Professor Spleen had barely left his side for the whole two weeks, monitoring this and that. He had had a mini-hospital in his cell at times, or so it seemed. His other injuries had been healed and he was being treated for the after-effects of the cruciatus he had endured. His left arm was more functional, but only ongoing use and practice would really help there. The exercise regime had been tweaked and adjusted with Severus being carefully coached through every step to the extent that he knew it like the back of his hand. They had even supplied Severus with an anti-nausea potion on a daily basis for the queasiness that accompanied being in a highly charged magical atmosphere with no magical defence.

That was a topic Severus found worrying...his magical core. It was recovering, but slowly. Professor Spleen had made some educated guesses and some accidental (on purpose) experiments on Severus' part had given them a good idea of what affected it. He had almost given Professor Spleen a heart attack when he had tried some Occlumency and had been sternly reprimanded, not that Severus had needed the censure. He had thoroughly scared himself, to the extent that he was going to wait for authorization before trying anything like that again, and even then he would err on the side of caution.

To say he had been heavily disappointed about not being able to use even basic Occlumency was a massive understatement, as he was aware it was his only defence against interrogation. He had learnt the subject to control his temper and without it became angry or upset quickly. Alas he was not the most stoic of people, hence the nickname Snivellius. _That_ was what had caused his initial resolve to learn such an advanced mind magic in the first place.

The Healers thought he would be able to do basic grade spells in a year, but not be at full strength for another seven after that. They were basing that purely on the magical core growth of magical children, a subject which had been keenly studied, especially in relation to squibs. Two weeks had not given them enough statistics or measurements for them to be able to confirm this, but the general consensus was that he would see signs of accidental magic, _if _as opposed to when, his magic strengthened.

"Please sit, Mr. Snape." Madam Bones waited as Tobias continued to stare intently at his son. He must have seen something in Severus's countenance that assured him his son truly was well, or as well as could be, because he took his place at the table.

"Auror Moody is here as he was the arresting officer; however, due to the circumstances that have taken place, and the potential nature of laws broken I am present in my capacity as the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. What you say is being recorded by a dicta-quill and the paper is spelled against being tampered with, in any way, by any means." She paused in her speech to tap the paper and quill with her wand. It started to record her next words. "We will use Veritaserum at the end of this interview to confirm what you have told us is a true account. If we feel you have omitted any answers to our questions we shall ask you these questions again when you are under Veritaserum."

Severus swallowed audibly, glancing at the side of his father's face. He was suddenly filled with an overwhelming need for comfort. He inched his knee slowly to the right and pressed it firmly against his father's leg.

"Confirm your name, address and date of birth please." Madam Bones commenced the questions.

"Severus Snape, 12 Spinner's End, Cokeworth, Manchester, M28 3UB, 9th January 1960."

"Your current occupation?"

"Unemployed."

"You've not long been out of school I believe. Could you confirm the grades you received in your NEWTS?" Amelia Bones asked, extracting a piece of paper from the folder in front of her.

Severus frowned as he heard Tobias stifle a snort, presumably at the acronym, but his gaze didn't waver from hers as he answered. "Potions, O, Herbology, O, Astronomy, E, DADA, O." He craned his neck. It was a copy of his grade sheet. From the look of it his OWLS were on their too. He felt his anxiety build as he noted the depth of the file it had come from.

"You finished school in July 1978. It is now June 1979. You have good grades, yet no job. I'm curious as to why."

Severus just shrugged in response. He may be a turncoat but he wasn't a traitor, and he couldn't say what he had been doing without revealing more than he ought. That path only led to a sticky death and Severus was very attached to his life and his limbs, he wasn't about to voluntarily sign his own death warrant...again.

"Mr Snape, that is a very unhelpful response. What have you been doing between leaving school and now?" Madam Bones persisted, asking a more direct question.

"This and that," he replied, remaining uncooperative.

Out of the periphery of his eye he saw Tobias turn to look at him, impatience and annoyance etched on his features. It was all Severus could do to remain silent and he firmly pressed his mouth into a thin line. He knew that look. That look meant his father's fuse was running low and that usually meant a beating. He mutely sighed in relief as Tobias turned back to look at the Auror.

"Boy's been scribbling in books or over bent over a cauldron." Tobias answered

Severus turned, his mouth agape to look at his father.

"Don't give me that look you daft twat. You're in enough trouble as is. Being stubborn will only land you in worse." Tobias didn't even turn to look at Severus as he spoke these words, instead, he just tiredly lent back in his chair.

"Thank you." Madam Bones nodded towards Tobias, before extracting more paper from the file. She directed her next statement towards Severus.

"We had some experts from St. Mungo's and our potions department look at the potions found in your home and the notes from your desk and school trunk." She waited until Severus confirmed the notes were in his handwriting and that he had made them of his own free will. "You appear to be quite the cryptographer Mr Snape, I congratulate you. Our foremost experts on de-coding, and at one stage curse-breaking, had quite a time of it. What we found was impressive and would more than account for what you have been doing in that time frame." She passed a long scroll to Severus. "This is a list of what we found in terms of potions."

Severus slowly unravelled the parchment. Well, well, well, he thought quietly to himself, they had been busy when he was in his cell. No wonder they had postponed this interview for two weeks. If he wasn't feeling so overwhelmed he would have been impressed that they had managed such a comprehensive list in such a short time-frame. He skim read the columns- outright illegal, ministry-controlled, authorised and experimental non-classified. Luckily the illegal column only had four potions listed under it. The ministry-controlled column however went on for quite some time.

He looked up at Madam Bones, waiting with bated breath for her next question.

"Unsurprisingly all the experimental potions match with the notes we found, which as we have already established, you wrote. Can you confirm you brewed those?"

"Yes." He replied hoarsely. It was the only reply he could sensibly give.

"The illegal and Ministry-controlled potions- did you brew all of those?"

Severus bowed his head in thoughtful silence. What possible defence did he have? A lot of those potions had been stored in HP sauce bottles (he had saved the phials for the more delicate experimental potions) and it was obvious he had brewed them- what other wizard would have decanted a potion into such a mundane muggle object. The real question was- would he gain anything by not answering? He remained silent. He would not consign himself to prison so easily. To his relief his father remained quiet, even when she looked askance at him.

"How would you describe your school days at Hogwarts?" She continued, pulling out a sheaf of paper and flicking through it in the silence.

Severus stared dumbfound at the unexpected turn of questioning, until a sharp pain where Tobias' boot connected with his shin pulled him out of his reverie.

"Ummm." He stuttered, wondering what he could say. That it had been a tremendous disappointment? A living nightmare that he couldn't wait to escape from? His mind drew a panicked blank as he looked wildly round the bare room for inspiration. His eyes locked onto Auror Moody's unyielding countenance. The judgement and indifference he saw filled his gut with fury_. How dare they,_ he thought. _How dare they presume to judge him based on the decisions he made, when he had seen no other choices._ He started to speak, and found that he couldn't stop. All the vitriol and hate spilled out into an anguished monologue as he summed up his school years.

He shook his head and a bitter laugh escaped his lips as he replied. "It was awful. I was picked on the moment I set foot on the train, let alone once I had been sorted. I was goaded into countless fights by the Marauders and always blamed for their beginning. I was never believed. I was never vindicated. The teachers punished me, often harshly. I saw students do worse than me and not get reprimanded. My best academic efforts were reviled and scorned by my peers and ignored by the teachers. My one true friend turned against me after heated insults were exchanged. She felt it confirmed the lies she had been fed about Slytherin being the source of all evil."

He abruptly turned his head as a derisive snort escaped from Moody.

"Oh, you think that too do you! Well let me tell you this. I had no friends because boys from Gryffindor enjoyed tormenting me so much. Do you call that honourable or brave? Anyone who was friendly towards me was targeted, except Lily Evans, and that was because Potter fancied her. To top it off my house-mates shunned me because of my associations with her. Because I wouldn't cut all ties with her on their sodding whim." His chest heaved as he caught his breath and recovered his composure. It still stung how she had just abandoned their friendship. She had never understood the grey world he lived in. The delicate balance he had to walk, no matter how many times he had tried to explain.

He folded his arms and lent back heavily in his chair as he pushed aside the bitter disappointment and jealousy before continuing in a quiet whisper that could barely be heard, lost as he was in his memories.

"They only started talking to me after we fell out. I was so lonely... you can't imagine... you can't know. Studies can only keep you so busy, even if you immerse yourself in them. Even if..."

"Even if..." Amelia Bones prompted after a few minutes.

Severus blinked back the bitter tears. He would not cry. Not about this. Not in front of these people. Not in front of his father.

"It doesn't matter. I tried so hard to gain approval. I did extracurricular studying, anything that typically gained a teachers approval. To no avail. No-one noticed. Not until my final year." He felt like biting his tongue as soon as the words escaped his mouth. He had all but handed them the question. That was the problem with letting his emotions rule. It only ever got him into trouble.

"Who noticed?"

"Take a wild guess." He shouldn't be surprised he thought. He really shouldn't. It should have been obvious where this questioning was going, even from such an obscure angle, but he still felt a bit discombobulated despite having two weeks to recover and the stark room was eerily reminiscent of events he would rather forget.

"I'm asking. Not guessing" She replied, her tone stern.

"Lord Voldemort." He held his chin high and met her eyes, bracing himself for the next set of questions that would inevitably follow.

"How did you meet Lord Voldemort?" Moody enquired, mockingly stressing the word _Lord._

"I can't say."

"Boy!" Tobias shouted exasperatedly.

Severus jumped. He had almost forgotten that his father was sat next to him.

"No... I mean I can't say... I don't know," he uttered, turning to his father. "They obliviate the _how_ from your mind. All I recollect are the meetings...or I did. I can't recall them now." Severus frowned.

"What do you mean?" Tobias demanded before being interrupted.

"Thank you, Mr. Snape. Leave the questioning to us" said Amelia Bones. "Explain what you mean. Why can't you recall the meetings?"

"My mind got tampered with when they lopped my arm off. Ask Professor Spleen if you don't believe me," he added defensively. Surely they had his medical records in that pile.

Madam Bones nodded before raising from her chair. "We will break at this point for 30 minutes. The toilet is through that door," she said gesturing behind him.

Severus watched as Moody followed reluctantly limping behind Madam Bones. He felt the adrenalin wear off, leaving him feeling shaky and drained. They hadn't even got to the real part of the questioning yet if he was any judge. He slowly stood up, using his fathers arm to steady himself before walking to the toilet.

"I'll get us a cuppa lad," Tobias stated, as he watched his son totter towards the bathroom. "It's going to be a long day," he muttered under his breath.

ss—ss—ss-ss-ss-ss-ss-ss-ss-ss-ss

Tobias walked briskly to the pub, relieved to be moving and out of that damned poky room. He needed a pint or three after sitting for countless hours as his son answered question after question. He had some questions of his own for his lad when he was safe at home, although God knows when that would be.

Sitting at an isolated corner in snug he stared unseeing into his ale, contemplating everything he had learnt until he was interrupted by Chris, another regular who worked at the mill.

"Hey up Toby. How's your lad? Not seen him about. Jack said he was ill?"

"Aye. Ill and in some trouble besides. He's been remanded in custody until a trial date can be fixed."

"Jesus. What your lad? That skinny bookish thing? Didn't think he had it in 'im."

"Yeah well. You know how it goes. Got in the wrong crowd and all that bollocks."

"Bloody hell mate!"

Chris fell silent. Probably amazed he had got this much information, Tobias thought wryly. He wasn't normally the talkative type, but he was feeling strangely melancholy. They sat in companionable silence until Chris saw his friends and went over to join them after finishing his pint. Tobias drained his with a practised air and staggered home.

Well, at least he didn't have to think much at work. He had been doing it for so long it was routine by now and he could do it blind drunk...sometimes had in fact.

ss—ss—ss-ss-ss-ss-ss-ss-ss-ss-ss

Severus sobbed quietly into his pillow, drawing the thick blanket further round his head to muffle the sounds. He had tried to sleep but had woken thrashing from vivid nightmares. He rubbed his face on his pyjama sleeve and turned to face the ceiling with a frustrated sound. He had no hope of getting back to sleep now.

In an effort to turn his thoughts away from the all too real faces of his tormentors that plagued his dreams he cast his mind back to the interview with Bones and Moody. He still couldn't think of anything he could have done or said differently. They had certainly used their warrant with ruthless efficiency and the school had provided surprisingly thorough medical and disciplinary records. It made for sad reading and Severus had cringed at how utterly predictable his actions and motives had been when analysed and summarised.

The questioning had gone on for hours and hours. Severus had told them about his miserable school life, his love for Lily and her rejection. His subsequent yearning for any sort of acceptance and friendship, and how he found that in the Deatheaters, although he had skirted round the details. The list of potions and his experimental notes gave more information than he ever could. It was all too true that during the torture they had obliviated every meeting from his mind, although he had outright refused to name names (or guess).

He recounted the prophecy, his efforts to warn the Potters after his father's insistence that he do something to right the wrongs. They had been astonished at that. Particularly after knowing that it was the same Lily that had spurned his friendship, and the same Potter that had tormented him mercilessly at school (the school medical records kept by Poppy were accurate, despite her indifference to him and they had asked a few interesting questions about a cursed scar acquired in his sixth year that he had been unable to explain to their satisfaction due to the wand oath he had been forced to take at the time).

Dumbledore's treatment of him, resulting into his hospital admission and then his kidnapping were also explored in great depth. They had focused on every tiny detail of that, and had only stopped for a break when Severus's voice was hoarse, despite his father's frequent protestations. They had been incredibly unsatisfied with his account of that-what he could remember he been told in five minutes.

Moody hadn't believed him of course, despite Professor Spleen's report which confirmed he would remember very little, so out came the Veritaserum.

In some ways Severus had been surprised about his replies. He hadn't remembered much the detail, but what he had recalled cast some doubt as to what was fever dream and what was memory with regards to what happened when they kidnapped him from the hospital. They had ordered a Pensieve to analyse the memory. Severus had asked to view it with them, but had not been given a definitive answer on that yet.

The only good that had come out of it was the ministry's surprisingly forthright and no-nonsense attitude to the threat against the Potters and the Longbottoms. Madam Bones had assured him that there was a protection programme that could be instigated should they choose to use it. Severus only hoped they would.

Severus had known even before they had given him the truth serum that he would be charged, for making the illegal and ministry-controlled potions if nothing else. They had deliberated over the charge sheet and in the end Severus had been pleasantly surprised. He was to be tried for brewing, owning and distributing the potions that were ministry- controlled and brewing illegal potions and providing them to an extremist political group with the knowledge they would be used for harm. He had also been charged with creating harmful spells and teaching them to others (due to being invented they hadn't been classified so they couldn't charge him for doing dark magic). But that had been it. He had done nothing else which was illegal. Ill-advised and morally reprehensible, yes, but not actually illegal.

So here he was. In the cells until a trial could be arranged. Yippee. He closed his eyes and wished for sleep to soothe his over-active mind.


End file.
